December 31, 2015

125 Root Beers!!!


The short story: I like to drink different root beers and talk about what each one tastes like.  I've done it with one hundred different kinds... until now!!!!  Here's twenty five more!!!

(The long story, including the first one hundred root beers, is here... http://jacobcementina.blogspot.com/2013/01/one-hundred-root-beers.html )
 
101. CHICAGO: Open a decent root beer up in Photoshop then turn the opacity down to about 65%.

102.  PISMO BREWING COMPANY, LIL' BREWSTER ROOT BEER:  Thai Iced Tea!!!

103.  THREE DACHSHUNDS: Sugar.

104.  HOSMER MOUNTAIN:  Slightly tart, slightly creamy, slightly sugary.

105.  BIG BEN'S:  Bike inner-tube made of black licorice, inflated with cigar smoke.

106. OLD RED EYE:  Candy hearts, Doublemint gum, melted lime Slurpee.

107. GENE AUTREY:  Cinnamon and heavy cream.  Spicy and sweet.

108.  ANCHOR GINGER ROOT BEER:  The ginger is very subtle and comes
across as more of a tingly freshness than the spicy, blow your nose off effect that I was expecting from something labeled as a ginger drink (which is a good thing, I think.)  There's actually more of a molasses flavor with a hint of ginger to finish it off.  It's like a Molasses Trojan Horse, but when the Ginger Trojans jump out they don't kill you, they give you a kiss on the cheek and then skip away giggling.

109.  ROCKY MOUNTAIN:  The label says it's made with beet sugar which is exciting in theory but... it doesn't taste very good.  Kind of like wintergreen, bbq potato chips and glue stick.

110.  BROWNIE CARAMEL CREAM ROOT BEER:  Tastes like caramel, cream, and root beer.  While you shouldn't normally judge a book by it's cover, in this case you'd be totally justified.

111.  DOUGIE DOG BUTTERSCOTCH ROOT BEER:  I'm not a huge fan of butterscotch, but this was actually really good.  Just enough butterscotch flavor to sweeten it up and set it apart from a normal root beer, and a really good, lightly spiced root beer flavor underneath.

112.  BEGLEY'S AND BILL' S:  boysenberry, leather, and aspirin.

113.  HIPPO SIZE:  Dark and sweet, like spelunking in a cave of brown sugar.  With a molasses rope.  And the cave has mint bats but you're not scared of them because you're Mintbatman.

114.  CICERO BEVERAGE COMPANY SALTED CARAMEL: You may think this root beer would taste like salted caramel.  And you'd be right.  The end.  And on a side note, this Salted Everything trend has got to stop.  Who wants to drink salty root beer?  Gross.  No.

115.  OZARK MOUNTAIN BOTTLEWORKS:  Crest toothpaste and sugar.

116.  O-SO BUTTERSCOTCH:  Butterscotch- check.  Root beer- check.  Tequila- check?

117.  ST. JOHN BREWERS VIRGIN ISLANDS ROOT BEER:  More sweet than spicy, more watery than creamy, more average than above average.

118.  FEST PECAN ROOT BEER:  Tastes kind of like there was this random, leftover flavor in the flavor factory that tasted kindof like root beer and possibly a little bit like a pecan, maybe, and the flavor elves were like "What do we do with this one?"  And then the other flavor elf was like "I don't know, let's add it to sugar water and sell it."  So they did.  And I bought it.  Once.

119.  JOBY JOE'S:  If you told me this was peach flavored sparkling water, I would wish it tasted a little more like peach but I wouldn't question whether or not it was actually root beer and that you were really just a silly prankster person.

120.  ROCKY MOUNTAIN?  I noticed that this bottle didn't say that it had beet sugar so I thought I'd try it again.  It was just as bad as the first time.

121.  SPRECHER HONEY ROOT BEER:  As a small child, you watch Winnie the Pooh eating fist-fulls of honey, and you imagine that it's the most bliss-inducing snack that ever existed.  Then one day, as a bigger child, you somehow gain access to a large amount of honey, and you decide that the time has come to Winnie-The-Pooh that business.  And when you do, you are introduced a sweetness so sharp that it numbs your tongue and burns your throat and most of your esophagus.  You curse all bees and Walt Disney.  And you wonder how a thing that seemed so good in your imagination could be so, so bad in reality.  Then you remember that Tigger also ate a fist-full of honey, and he had a similar reaction- something to the tune of "BLEGHHH.  Tiggers do not like that icky, sticky stuff."  Sprecher Honey Root Beer is not that bad, but I have to admit, I felt more like Tigger than Pooh when I drank it.

122. NEW YORK SELTZER ROOT BEER:  I knew going into this that it would end up being a "root beer flavored thing", as opposed to a "root beer made by a thing", but I figured I'd do it anyway.  For the record, I was right.  Tastes like seltzer water with root beer flavoring in it.  Moving on!

123.  INDIAN WELLS SPECIAL RESERVE:  Do you like eating black licorice?  Do you like DRINKING black licorice?

124.  DAD-GUM-IT BUTTERSCOTCH ROOT BEER:  At the top of the waterslide you had a wide-mouthed cup full of generic cola.  And at the bottom of the waterslide, you ended up with this.

125.  O-ZELL ROOT BEER FLOAT:  You know when you're downtown and you walk past a bar, and even if you don't see that it's a bar, you smell it and you just know?  It's a specific stank created by layers and layers of yeast and vomit and bleach.  Okay, now, imagine that you walk past a bar that serves nothing but lemon drop martinis.  Got it?  Now bottle that smell and call it O-Zell Root Beer Float.